Trying to let go while staying vigilent and hopeful has been extremely challenging during this momo pregnancy. In the beginning, it was realizing and accepting what a daunting pregnancy we we were in store for. In the middle the pregnancy, it was about staying hopeful but being realistic. Now at the end of the pregnancy, it’s about surviving inpatient at the hospital with aggressive monitoring. I will say the aggressive monitoring is crazy making. Since most momo moms only monitor for 2-3 hours a day while inpatient, I find myself thinking about how nice that would be. When my perinatologist told me 16 weeks ago that I wouldn’t be able to tolerate the aggressive monitoring and continued to try and talk me out of it until the day I came inpatient at 27 weeks 4 days. I understood right away what she meant and was trying to say. This pregnancy requires a huge commitment and sacrifice from the entire family.
Aggressive monitoring also called continuous monitoring is mental and physical torture in a way. However, I find comfort and relief with aggressive monitoring because cord accidents can and do happen at anytime during a momo pregnancy. And unless you’re monitoring there is no way to know about it until it’s too late… It’s hard to help your situation during this pregnancy with inpatient care and monitoring while at the same time, trying to let go and believe that you’re doing everything you can to help your babies. My new perinatologist told me there is sacrifice and effort involved in this pregnancy but also a little bit of luck. He likes to remind me that I could be continuously monitoring but something bad could happen while I was taking my daily shower. Heavy to hear but true.
I have let myself take more breaks off the monitors over the last week or two which has been wonderful. After gaining 52 pounds, it’s so hard to breathe and move around and the monitor straps feel like I’m wearing panty hose with a control top waist band after eating a big Thanksgiving dinner. I’m just saying.
The good news is that I’m less than 48 hours away from meeting my sweet baby girls!