One year ago this Saturday, I checked myself into the hospital for aggressive fetal monitoring for my high risk Momo pregnancy. I was scared, but wanted to do whatever I could to potentially help our unborn identical twin girls. I can barely think about the details of that day and the following 31 days of my inpatient stay…For me, sitting in a hospital bed and plugging into the wall to listen for 2 fetal heartbeats all day and night was quite traumatic. I remember details so clearly of my impatient stay that I can still feel the dry hospital air when I think about it. People told me to relax! Enjoy laying around with food and housekeeping service. I tried and think I enjoyed that time as much as I could. Honestly, what a mind f**k to sit outside of the operating room on the labor and delivery floor with high risk twins that most Dr’s hadn’t seen recently or ever with the intention of delivering premature babies at a moment’s notice around the clock. As challenging as my inpatient stay was, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Blaize and Pepper sharing a bath at 7 months old adjusted age. (9 months old actual age)

My Momo pregnancy was one difficult decision after another. From the first decision to NOT terminate my pregnancy at 9 weeks when I was bleeding bright red blood for 2 months. To NOT participate in selective termination when Blaize (Baby B) was measuring much smaller at 19 weeks and we flew to San Francisco to interview for fetal surgery. (Luckily, we weren’t good candidates for fetal surgery because of the close proxcimity of cord insertions) To NOT delivering at 25 weeks when Baby B was experiencing significant heart decels and I checked into the hospital for the day of fetal monitoring. The Dr’s seemed panicked and wanted to start my magnesium that day to protect against possible brain bleeds because they thought delivery was potentially hours away. To NOT staying in the hospital that day at 25 weeks because I didn’t want to deliver my babies that weekend. Even though the Dr’s told me there is a significant chance there won’t be heartbeats on Monday. To INSISTING on aggressive fetal monitoring against some specialists recommendations. (Specialists are split down the middle whether a few hours OR 24 hours a day of monitoring is best) To INSISTING on a 32 Week Delivery date. (Also split down the middle between 32-34 weeks for delivery for MoMo twins)

I reached out to countless twin moms and joined an amazing group on facebook who mentally supported all my legitimate fears. I had lots of visitors and am so grateful for the people who helped me pass the time. Thank goodness for facebook and netflix!

I dreamed that one day my twins would be healthy and able to go on runs with me. Today, we have been on lots of runs and I am forever grateful for my babydolls, Blaize and Pepper.

My only advice for other MoMo moms is to do your own research and make your own decisons because there will be a lot of decisions to make from day one.

Did my 32 day impatient stay with aggressive fetal monitoring contribute to healthy babies? Maybe. Did my 32 week delivery date ensure that two babies survived? Maybe. I’ll never know for sure but after countless hours of research I feel good about my decisions.

Today, I’m basking in gratitude for my beautiful, healthy babies.

Best in health my friends